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In today’s age, we so forget the value of time–the value of life, itself. It is so easy to be blinded by everything we have packed our lives full of + not notice the people or most inspirational moments that surround us. There is so much to be missed in life’s little moments + in order to experience all it has to offer, we must get back to being intentional.
I had the day off yesterday, so I stayed home + watched plenty of Disney movies (my favorite). As 5:00pm approached, I knew T would be getting off of work soon + we’d have dinner then go for a workout. For some reason I felt like I hadn’t seen him in forever! But, I had seen him for lunch? I had seen him when I went over to the office to go for a swim? Why did I feel like I hadn’t seen him in weeks?
Then it hit me–I have been so unintentional with my time. When we are together, we so often pick up our phones + don’t speak. Not because we are upset with each other, but because our generation has become so consumed with Social Media. Here’s a funny about T–he has an actual muscle memory habit of clicking on Facebook every single time he ends a phone call. *hehehe*
My heart was missing quality time with my sweet guy + it was our own fault! When he came home, I gave him a big squeeze + apologized for not being intentional when we have time together. You can imagine his response. He had also missed me but didn’t know why. Yes, we do a phone stack when eating out, but never at home. This is 100% a new rule for us + will save us the heartache of missing each other when there is absolutely no reason to.
Being intentional radiates into other areas of life, as well. Have you ever been in a conversation with someone + weren’t really listening? Then they finish what they’re saying + you have no idea what is going on? This is due to a lack of intention. You want to chat, but you aren’t intentionally focusing on your friend. How are we, as women, able to empower each other without being intentional in our replies? This, to me, is so important when searching for best gals.
As the President of a sorority for two terms now, my phone is literally a mini Grand Central Station. Let me say that it is one of the most rewarding service outlets I have + would not change one minute of one of the biggest blessings in my life. I love each + every gal in my chapter with all of heart. However, T + I have struggled many a time with me being consumed with emails, texts, calls, events, meetings, ect. Not just with being Pres, but in other leadership areas, as well.
For me, when someone contacts me I feel like I have to respond immediately. I open most emails as soon as I receive them + also try reply to texts within an hour. This last semester I have learned that this habit of self-care is unhealthy. I am innately a helper, so this has honestly been so painful for me to realize + get a hold of. “You cannot be a helper every second of your life, B” is something I’ve repeated over + over for the last three months.
Learning to be intentional with my time outside of my one-on-one leadership is something that I am working on for the sake of my personal health, but also the health of all other relationships in my life.
As a side note, this takes a lot of patience + commitment. My entire life I’ve been a helper every second I am awake. It brings me joy to give my time to help solve another’s problem. However, when you go from being available 100% of the time to scheduling time to just yourself, the people around you might be shocked. They might even think something is wrong. The best way I have found to deal with this is to sit them down + explain the change. This will help both you + those who you support/mentor/empower. It might even empower them to be intentional in their own lives.
In a real-life, personal scenario, how easy is it for us to buy something on Amazon? There is literally a one-click-and-done option, where you just have to tap the purchase button. No entering an address, phone number, or even a credit card. We have become a one-click society. Being able to purchase a product + not think twice (hehehe, I’m GUILTY) has created an unintentional commerce to consumer relationship.
Another intentional relationship we must prioritize, being the most important, is the one we share with the Lord. I am so guilty of only talking with him on a long drive home, or when I have a sliver of downtime between my busy chores. Being intentional with our daily walk, however, begs of us to talk with Him when we are knee deep in the grime. When you stop + think about it, deep in the grime is when we rely on his friendship + leadership the most.
One of my most favorite quotes is as follows: “Show up in every single moment like you are meant to be there.” We were put on this Earth to make a difference. To create change. To empower. To inspire. To LOVE. How are we able to do those things when we are so consumed with just sliding through life?
My challenge to you, my readers, + myself for the next month is to show up. Put the phone down, hold your child for an extra ten minutes, kiss your spouse a little longer when they come home, take your pup on an extra 30 minute walk, think about that bikini before you buy it, listen to a friend + give A+ advice back, talk with the Lord when you are vacuuming or annoyed with how disgusting the dishes are after dinner.
Be intentional everyday for 30 days. Keep a journal of every intentional act. When your 30 days are over, stop back in + let me know all of the ways your life has changed.
I love each of you guys–thanks for letting me spill my heart in this one.