I have promised to share my life with you all + this post highlights my recent weeks outside of my obsession with style + the color pink.
Know how it feels to just sit quietly in the Lord’s presence + not say a word? I have had so many moments in the past month where the Lord has asked me to just stop talking + listen. + let me tell ya, I have never felt more held in my life.
Lately, in the unusual moments of just closing my eyes + breathing, I have received so many answers to so many hard questions. I have learned that I needed to be taught to LISTEN + not just hear the Lord.
This is so evident in a child to parent relationship + I guess I’ve never thought about it this way before. I can remember being little + hearing my mom but in times, not listening. Yes, I knew what she was saying, but my heart did not. I knew I needed to clean my room because she told me, but I never knew WHY I had to.
In the same manner, in the past few weeks I’ve been handed several tough situations. Without digging into much detail, a particular situation came up where I felt as though my personal values were being attacked + distorted from the truth. Similar to a how a false rumor feels. I fought with the Lord over just getting over it + moving on. I wouldn’t just give it up + I had a major exam the next morning after the situation arose, so fighting it was only putting me in another hole.
*If you know me well, I overthink just about everything in life. okay, literally everything. T says “it’s just how you’re made” WHAT A GUY, I TELL YOU*
I felt the Lord telling me to just stop, put on worship music + just sit quietly. “Reckless Love” by Cory Asbury was the first song flowing from the Contemporary Christian Pandora station. The peace began to settle in + I’m telling you, I’ve never felt more heard + I DIDN’T EVEN HAVE TO SAY A WORD.
I wish I could share all of the lyrics + break them down individually, but YOU HAVE to listen to it, here. The one line that stuck out the most was the bridge where he sings:
“There’s no shadow You won’t light up
Mountain You won’t climb up
Coming after me
There’s no wall You won’t kick down
Lie You won’t tear down
Coming after me“
So, the values that I felt were under attack + the person I was being made out to be were being fought for + not just by me. This was a battle that was not mine to win. The chorus of the song says:
“Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God
Oh, it chases me down, fights ’til I’m found, leaves the ninety-nine
I couldn’t earn it, and I don’t deserve it, still, You give Yourself away
Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God”
The “leaves the ninety-nine” comes from Luke 15:4, where the parable of the lost sheep is told. The verse says, “Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn’t he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it?”
All of this hit me so hard; the Lord cares enough about my broken heart that he would leave the ninety-nine, kick down walls, and tear down lies to fight for me, no matter if I ask or not. He SEES + doesn’t have to HEAR my heart, but is constantly caring for + protecting it.
My trust in just shutting my mouth + listening got me to this realization. How many other times have I just needed to stop asking + listen? He hears us even when we have nothing left to say, no tears left to fall, no energy in the fight. Sometimes we need to remember to just rest in his love.
Exodus 33:14 — “My Presence will go with you and I will give you rest.”
HOW GREAT thou art, Lord.